Probably like many other organisations on this island, our Business School has just completed its twice-yearly performance appraisal process. This is always a fascinating time of the year for me – an ideal opportunity to observe human nature at play. It’s a fact that the world over, nobody likes performance appraisals or reviews. Subordinates are terrified that they’ll hear nothing but sharp criticisms from their superiors and their supe-riors in turn, are petrified that their reports will respond with stonewalling, anger or tears. Why then, whether it’s at this time of the year or not, are we so afraid of feedback, formal or informal? Why is it that so many of the executives and managers I’ve met both here and overseas admit freely that they’ve never asked for feedback on how they come across or on their performance in general during their whole career?

<B>Why the fear?</B>

I can think of at least four reasons as to why we resist feedback about ourselves in general. The first has to do with the fact that all too often, the feedback we receive from others is of a critical nature i.e. “You are too indecisive”, “You cannot delegate” – and so on. The art of giving positive feedback is not one that comes easily to many of us as we tend to be afraid that our subordinates will come out “bigheaded” and with many expectations. The second is that we subconsciously associate the frequent criticisms in the feedback with criticisms from our parents and teachers during our childhood. As we felt rejected as kids, being told that there are flaws in our management style is tantamount to being told we are not wanted. The third is the fact that all of us have an “ideal self” – an ideal of the perfect person that most of us try to become. When I am told that I am too soft with people or too pushy, this ideal self crumbles – hence my reluctance to seek or accept the feedback. Finally, arrogance plays a role here. Some of us are so caught up in ourselves that we believe we have all the answers and therefore do not need to know others’ opinions, perceptions or verdicts. This is even more so the case when one reaches a high level in the organisation.

<B> The consequences</B>

This fear of feedback can have enormously negative consequences for us. It can stunt our growth as managers and human beings. If I am unaware that others perceive me as too afraid to take risks, there is little I can do to overcome my shortcoming in this regard. It can also lead to delusions after delusions. Here I am, prancing around like a peacock unaware all the time that most people around me feel I am the perfect idiot. Most importantly, this fear of feedback prevents an awareness of who I am – an accurate assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. And without this assessment, we may as well be dead.

<B> The value of feedback</B>

The value of feedback therefore cannot be questioned. As I am told that I am too shy, arrogant, or indecisive, I learn about myself – I become self-aware. I see myself as others see me. I have an accurate perception of who I am. I can thus learn to acknowledge and act on any negative feelings that you may have about me; I can constructively readjust the goals I have formulated so that they become more realistic and I can begin to explore the source of my difficulties. In this process of self-awareness, you see, I am able to free myself from the chains of my conditionings or fears. And that is what’s life all about.

<B>Prof E. Charoux

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