First on my agenda is Indian Idol. "It?s one of the most exhilarating and, at the same time, most humbling experiences of my life!" exclaims the composer. Malik, who?s one of the three judges on the show, along with choreographer-turned-director Farah Khan and singer Sonu

Nigam, says being on the show has been a very productive exercise for him. "When you become successful, you tend to take fame for granted. A certain element of pride enters your subconscious. You are like, ?Haan, hum hain.? But I saw in these singers the same hunger that drove me to success. I saw it in the blind girl, in

Raju, who?s a sweeper. There?s a shot of him leaving for the audition and the entire basti is praying for him. I was really moved when I saw that after his audition. Had I seen it earlier, I?d definitely have been biased. These guys have humbled me. Indian Idol has brought back my hunger. The hunger to go that extra mile, to create an exceptional song, to cut out that ?I?m Anu Malik? attitude?.

Er, you?re talking about humility, but what we see is quite a bit of rudeness, I tell him. Can?t the judges let down the contestants a little tactfully? He frowns, "See, I don?t give them gaalis. All I tell them honestly is that they don?t have it in them to make it. I?m brutally honest to the point of being rude, but I?m not rude. . My job is to choose a good singerAnd look at this way, if you can?t sing, I?m sure you can do something better.

But if I were to politely tell you, paanch saal ke baad aana, you will go on working on your voice for five more years when you could have done something else. You would?ve lost five years of your life. I know it hurts when you?re told you?re no good. But believe me, the contestants will thank me one day for being honest with them."

Then looking me straight in the eye, he says, "I?d rather be called harsh and rude than being called incompetent. These guys are being offered a crore of rupees, a contract with Sony; they will get the chance to sing for topline composers. They had better be good. We judges are walking on a razor?s edge. We have a responsibility. No one should turn around and tell us, yehi hai aapki choice. Also I?ve never rejected anyone for having attitude. When it comes to selecting them, I settle for their voices. But I do tell them to drop their attitude. I expect people to be humble."

Are you? I butt in. And he nods his head vigorously. "I reach my recordings on time. I give my sittings on time. I give my producers a choice of 10 tunes. I also cut my price when I feel the producer can?t pay. But yes, if someone steps on my toes and tries to tell me he knows better, I give it back."

<B> ? See, music is done by everybody and any body today. There?s a lot of talent on the block. The show will go on with or without me. But I feel the public vibes well with me. People buy my music. You can hum my songs. And believe me, that?s a great achievement. ? </B>

Attitude or not, the fact is that Anu Malik had two of last year?s biggest hits in Main Hoon Na and Murder last year. Not shy of tom-tomming his achievements, he says in his characteristic style, "When Murder came, people said Dil ko hazar baar roka was a rocking number. When Main Hoon Na released they said you?ve set a trend in qawwalis. It?s a fabulous feeling to know they?ve both been appreciated. Both have been silver jubilees. You know Main Hoon Na is the highest selling album this year. Even Munnabhai MBBS is a silver jubilee. The song Dekh le was a huge rage."

Keeping his eyes on the road, he explains that music is his lifeline. All he wants to do is work, work and work some more. And he?ll do anything for it.

Even forgive the greatest offenders. He says, "People have tried to hurt me. Producers and directors have signed me and dropped me. But I hold no grudges. To me life is all about people coming to you, going away and then coming back to you. I?m not a vindictive person I don?t give it back to people by hurting them. I put all my anger into my music.. I never say Main tumhe bataoonga. In this world tum kitna kisko bataooge? Yes, I?ll show him but through my music. But I?ll never say I won?t work with you. Those are childish statements. There was a time you said that. They aren?t worth it today. You have to change."

Yup. But one thing that never changes is his reputation for being a copy man. Know-all say the Murder score isn?t original. Ask him that and his scowl deepens. Curtly he says, "I won?t answer this question. I haven?t copied any song in Murder. Only Kaho na kaho has been recreated. And the cassette says that. All the other songs are mine. I don?t know why this topic should keep coming up time and again. Why should a man be suspected after he has given film scores like Aks, Filhaal, Border, LoC,, Main Hoon Na, Murder?I think I?m more original than loads of people around."

What about the film-makers who complain that Anu Malik doesn?t deliver on time? In fact, Pooja Bhatt was forced to outsource her Paap music after he let her down. No way, he says and mutters angrily, " Henceforth I?ll insist on a contract which says I?ll be the sole music director in the film. They come to me when they want a difficult song which no one else can do. They get me to do it and then go to other composers. There?s no question of my being unprofessional. If I can?t do a film, I simply say so at the beginning. I?ve left so many movies, said no to so many people."

Like right now. He?s reached his destination. He reappears after twenty minutes, shaking his head. As he starts the car, he murmurs, "It?s so difficult to say no to people. They get hurt. And I don?t want to hurt people. I know how it feels. But what can I do? I can?t possibly take on more work than I have. I?d rather say no than do bad work for them."

Offers are pouring in, he says. But he?s being picky. On his platter are movies with Harry Baweja, Raj Kanwar, Abbas-Mustan. Then there?s Paul Berges? Mistress of Spice, Anil Sharma?s new film and Ekta Kapoor?s Kya Cool Hain Hum. Farah Khan has signed him on for her next venture too. The list goes on.

So is he the most sought after music director? Without batting an eyelid he says yes. "See, music is done by everybody and anybody today. There?s a lot of talent on the block. The show will go on with or without me. But I feel the public vibes well with me. People buy my music. You can hum my songs. And believe me, that?s a great achievement."

Vis-a-vis competition, he says he has no time to hear other composers. And he?s not unduly bothered by competition. "That?s not to say that I?m not insecure," he counters. "I?m very insecure about my work: Can I match the expectations of the director,, can I make a great song? But I?m not scared of other composers. Haan, if there?s a great song by another composer, I go, wow! Then I pull up my socks. And try to better it. But it?s a good thing I don?t hear much music. I?m always lost in my own creative world.?

He says his agenda is to keep bettering himself. And he drives himself and others crazy in order to achieve that. He grins. "In a recording studio, if a singer isn?t giving his best, I get after him. I?ll cajole him, be harsh with him. Sometimes they can?t deal with me. But they all know I?m only doing it for my song. I?m a person who?s very harsh on himself in the recording studio. I?m not easily satisfied. If I?m not satisfied with my work, I?ll cry, I won?t have a good night?s sleep and my hunger vanishes. If the director doesn?t like my song, then I?m constantly phoning him. I wake him up at two in the morning to ask ?Did your wife hear the song? Did your friends hear it?? I drive him mad."

Ask him to describe himself away from his music and he chuckles, "I have an attitude. I love dressing up. I love experimenting with my clothes, my headgear. I used to wear colourful hats, beads. I had really long hair once. Then I cut it short. I?m a rebel. I live life on my own terms and conditions. Of course people have called me names. They said with disdain, he?s colourful, he?s this and he?s that. But I don?t care.All I want to do in life is to add that ?est? to great."

<B>Anuradha Choudhary Filmfare India</B>