I am very upset.

I was going through the Sunday papers and, try as I did, I couldn?t get away from all this VOH business. I managed not to throw up from the overdose of VOH and its not very engaging members but then as I was battling with my VOH sickness, a thought occurred to me.

Everybody is being treated to their own ?voice?- Hindus have VOH, Muslims have Zamzam, creoles have La voix Creole, Whites have their man, Chinese have money but what about me?

Who is going to speak for me? Who will pressurize my boss into giving me a pay rise? Who will go break the necks of the people I don?t like? Who will close down restaurants I don?t like just for the heck of it?

And the frightening answer was, no one.

The VOH people don?t like me; they have told me so in no uncertain terms. Zamzam and the like don?t like me; they think I am a satanic girl who simply detests Muslims and the voix Creole people also hate my guts because they think I am a Creole hater. And I simply don?t qualify to join the Whites clan. Money? Ain?t got none.

How very distressing to come to this realization on a Sunday morning. But I don?t like being distressed and being a practical and clever girl - even if I say so myself - I decided to empower myself.

I will create the Voice of the No Voice. This will do wonders for me - politicians will fear me - ha, Navin Ramgoolam will be forced to take my calls at all times, Paul Berenger won?t dare refuse me an interview, as he usually does every time I call him, same goes for Pravind Jugnauth and other politicians.

But the best of it all is that the police will fear me. I could do everything I want; Mauritius will be my oyster! I could just walk into a car showroom and demand that they hand me the keys to whichever car takes my fancy and then walk into Line Barracks and order the policemen to stamp my learner and make it a valid driving permit, I could barge into SBM?s Chairman?s office and demand that he gives me a platinum credit card with no credit limit. Wow, the possibilities are endless.

Who would want to join my Voice of the No Voice, you?re wondering?

Don?t you worry; there are loads of people like me who will never relate to those silly bigoted groups. And politicians might be interested to know that those who refuse to be spoken for might end up having a voice that?s so much more potent than those of the belligerent type.

So if politicians are scared that not giving in to the whims and caprices of those groups might make them lose an election, then they better start thinking of what will happen if they willingly become hostages of those people. Times have changed and the sooner politicians pick up on that, the better.