Nicolas RAINER

Aren?t you tired of being told what a dour year awaits us? Ramblings of the sort that the economy is in the doldrums. Or that myriad price increases will further contract the everyman?s already punctured purse. Or, better still, that the government has a distinctively aimless air to it since the post-election euphoria has all but evaporated. Even the most unabashed optimists are preparing to flee for the hills.

This is why I?ve adopted the New Year?s resolution of having no truck whatsoever with these diabolically depressing diatribes. Thus, you won?t be hearing any more caustic comments or sarcastic syllogisms from me. No sir! In future, this space will be reserved for heaping praise on all and sundry, even the unworthy. Let?s just call it my contribution to the ?colmatage? of the country?s morale.

Today I?ve taken it upon me to write a few lines about our new minister of the Environment. His discretion is such that you could easily be forgiven for being unable to attach a name or a face to this position. Well, lest this ignorance become a habit, let me remind you of this virtuous being?s identity. Our minister of Environment is none other than?drum rolls?Anil Baichoo!

You may remember Mr Bachoo from his wonderful renditions of such classic roles as ?The minister of Public Infrastructure? or ?The Renegade?. His ability to seamlessly abandon one party for another on the eve of the general elections is a model of subtlety. Against all expectations, he has adapted this quality to his new mission, which is to ?ensure the protection and management of the environment assets so that their capacity to sustain the society and its development remains unimpaired and to foster harmony between quality of life, environmental protection and sustainable development for the present and future generations?.

His stealth is such that you can?t even accuse him of nurturing an inchoate vision for his ministry. Why? Because he doesn?t seem to have a vision! And, if he does, it must be one of the best kept secrets in the Indian ocean, which is a pity seeing that one of the main tenets of environmental protection is public awareness.

Whilst Mahendra Gowressoo and Sylvio Tang have become the butts of all manner of jokes, Anil Bachoo has been spared this inconvenience, as only a select few know he is minister of Environment. His recipe for success seems to be: if you don?t do anything, you can?t do anything wrong. You need but look at the ministry?s website to notice the wholeheartedness with which he has embraced this philosophy. Under the title ?Latest news?, you will find the ?Launching of Composting Projects in Schools? at the Shri Rajiv Gandhi Government School in Central Flacq (if you notice a correlation with his constituency you would be right). Date? 7 September 2005.

So while everybody is predicting the worst for the country, I would like to congratulate Mr Bachoo for his modesty, inertia and self-effacement. If the current minister of Public Infrastructure shared the same qualities, the environment would indeed by safe!