One of our purposes in life is to seek happiness. However, no one lives free from suffering and loss. Suffering is regarded as any unwanted condition associated with pain and unhappiness. There are three types of human suffering: physical, psychological and spiritual. Physical suffering can be caused by pain and somatic diseases, psychological suffering can be brought about through loss and mental disorders and spiritual suffering through moral dilemmas and a lack of purpose in life (Makselon,1998). In the past, man knew that suffering was part of life and accepted it. Nowadays, we try to subside our physical and emotional suffering by any means as shown by a wide range of painkilling medication or through maladaptive behaviour like smoking, drinking and drug-taking.

At other times, we unconsciously deny the experience of suffering by avoiding thinking about it in order to protect ourselves or we project our negative emotions on someone else and blame him/her for our predicament. While these psychological defenses can ease our pain temporarily, they do not in any way help us in the long-term. In fact, the hasty elimination of suffering prevents an individual from facing it and acquiring deeper human maturity through it.

Suffering can serve a variety of functions in the personality of human beings. It can promote personality development or create personality degradation depending on the way the individual perceives the situation and responds to it. The issue is therefore to ask oneself “Why do I suffer?” and hence to give suffering a meaning (Makselon, 1998). Suffering has been examined from different cultural, religious and philosophical viewpoints. The Existential approach lays emphasis on responsibility, choice and actions and aims to help the individual face suffering through a courageous act of acceptance. The Eastern approach focuses on patience, wisdom, detachment and serenity. It seeks to empower human beings so that they can face suffering with enlightenment (Wong, 1999). The Islamic approach views suffering as a test in this world and emphasis is laid on finding eternal happiness in the hereafter. Good actions, values and principles in this world are rewarded in the hereafter through a life without suffering. The Christian approach pictures happiness in life through embracing suffering and death, as illustrated by Christ on the cross. Happiness is not viewed as the absence of suffering but the surrendering of suffering to God as an offering. An individual’s religious beliefs may help him/her to find meaning behind his/her suffering and can bring him/her closer to God. All of these approaches recognise that the pursuit of happiness involves accepting the reality of suffering, although they address the issue from different perspectives.

The complex dynamic that exists between happiness and suffering reminds us that life involves a mixture of both. In fact, there is no clear-cut picture of happiness and suffering. Happiness can be born out of adversity and pain. Sorrow and joy can mingle to produce happiness. Who can experience the elation of a mother who holds her newborn baby in her arms after many hours of labour? Who can imagine the relief and happiness of a patient after weeks of anxiety, whose medical tests declare him free of an incurable disease? These are multifaceted pictures of suffering and happiness (Wong,1999).

Since hardship like illness, loss and death are bound to arise in our lives, it is important for us to confront them. Trying to forget about these natural parts of life will only cause an unbearable distress when the day comes and these events occur. By mentally preparing oneself for the kinds of suffering one can encounter in life, one will be able to cope better and reduce the psychological components of anxiety and depression associated with the situation although this is not to say that we can eradicate the pain (Abbey & Andrews, 1987). There is no avoiding the fact that suffering and pain are universal human experiences. Therefore, our attitude towards them needs to be modified in order not to feel like a perpetual victim. Once we have acknowledged our suffering, it becomes easier to modify our perception of the concept through a more flexible, tolerant approach to life,to adapt to the changing circumstances and eventually achieve greater emotional maturity. Personal suffering can also be a way to enhance our warmth, compassion and empathy towards others’ suffering and pain.

Suffering is not an enemy to our existence. It is a growth process fundamental for our personal development. Suffering is very personal. Everyone heals in their own way and in their own time. We do not need to be happy all of the time during each and every day of our lives or to be in total control of our feelings. This is a perfectionist trap. The struggles of life make us who we are and difficult experiences allow us to grow, to understand and accept what it means to be human.

<B>Doreyya Mohungoo

Health Psychologist</B>