by Rubina Doobory, MSc, LL.M

They came, nosed around, boasted about their super hero capabilities and bored us rigid. All the political candidates are busying themselves, cadging for votes like feeble individuals vehemently promising to take us to the promise (la la) land. Their constant rhetoric pledges are so unconvincing that they need to be wrapped in verbal bluff to camouflage their incoherence. The election fever is on, like chikungunya, endorsed by the visits of politicians who are behaving more like Jehovah?s witnesses, with their incessant talks, professing the obvious and waiting with bated breath for an assurance that a yes vote will be cast their way. They are trying hard, very hard indeed, to convince themselves rather than their audience of their dependability and the eternal bliss in their kingdom. When did they actually care? Once in power, they look after their burgeoning purse and globular stomachs while sending the voters to Coventry. It is only every five years that one sees the resurrection of the local MP, after that, they expediently and comfortably retire on their pedestal. And then, ?protege nou montagne? policy begins.

They all either have selective hearing, as they don?t seem to listen to your pleas, or blatantly assume that we are blithering idiots who can be won over by a home visit. Last week my locality was visited by one candidate who started his monosyllabic speech by telling us that he did not spend as much time as he wanted in our midst but if we elect him, he would this time. What mumbo jumbo for few votes! In honest truth, he clearly neglected us and now because of his baloney and promise (!) he thinks that we owe him our sympathy vote. Well, at the end of what was a back tapping, his megalomaniac speech became so catatonic that one needed a Valium to get to sleep. All the babble about his commitments rather than the party?s standing on crucial issues such as education, health, corruption, immigration made one want to banish him and scream allegiance to aliens instead.

Why do politicians bow to such tactics? Will they visit us for a cup of tea and ?gâteaux piments? once they have secured their ministerial position? Will we have to make endless appointments before seeing our elected MP or can we also be audacious and pop around his office impromptu?

Unfortunately we do need to vote but more debates are required about the political views of the different parties rather than ad hoc visits. For the time being, double locked your doors, let the dog loose and take a happy pill. Let your own direction be your tutor: suit the action of the word, the word to the action (William Shakespeare).