Mrs Jerret recently paid me a great compliment. Yesterday she proclaimed that I used to be sexy. I didn?t know how to respond. Of course, I told her that she was ? and still is - very sexy herself. I thought that might be the start of something more intimate, but that was when the dog Englebert started barking for his dinner. One telephone call and half an hour of Jasper?s Maths homework later and the mood was somehow broken.

Much later I started to think about my compliment. When exactly was it that I used to be sexy? Perhaps when Jenny and I first met in a crowded student party in London in 1985. I don?t remember feeling very sexy at that time. My student flat was not a place that you could emerge from, feeling sexy. In fact, it was a place with so many health risks, you were lucky to emerge from it at all. In the threadbare days before student loans, clothes were not worn for style but for warmth. My full party-going ensemble was as sexy as ?Oxfam clothes donations? could allow me to be. There were students in my year who might have regarded themselves as sexy. They were studying Law at LSE, they knew how to wear dinner suits into the Union Bar, their clothes were more ?Oxford Street? than Oxfam and they probably used the full panoply of after-shave and other skin care products.

Was it on our famous day at the seaside in Brighton? My ?Top of the Pops? research showed that a ?wild boy? look a la Duran Duran would produce the right ?girl-reaction?. I had flowing hair, white ruched shirt open at the chest and a well buckled belt. This was my only contribution to the ?New Romantic? movement as I wouldn?t go as far as the Boy George eye make-up. In fact the whole project was more successful than in my wildest dreams and Jenny and I have been inseperable ever since. When I look at the photographs of that fateful day now ? I am amazed.

I have been looking in reference books and on the Internet to find out about my sexy past. The dictionary claims that, to be sexy, I must have aroused sexual interest in others. I went to SexyTester.com and tried to answer a 20-question test on how sexy I think I might have been. There seemed to be a cut-off age for this test of ?Above 38?. Does this mean that only people below the age of 38 can regard themselves as sexy? If this is true, then our household must resemble a monastic community. As parents we are above the age of having sexual interests and our children are too young to be involved in this business. Only our dog shows a keen interest in the opposite sex. To return to the results of the SexyTester; I am (or was) 99% more sexy than all respondents who completed the test ? ever! Of course I may have cheated a bit. According to this site, ?sexiness? is about image, confidence and attitude. Those of us who used to be sexy, were concerned about our appearance, had strong belief in ourselves and very positive attitudes about the future.

I?ve had time to think about the comment ?I used to be sexy?. We have had time to discuss this in more detail. I have learnt that my sexiness had to do with my smiling blue eyes and flat stomach. I know we all change, as the years pass by, but I was assured that I am still in very hot demand (at least by my wife). Perhaps I could start to reverse the trend with brightly coloured contact lenses and by drinking less Guinness.

Jules Jerret