During recess, seven or eight years ago, I received a call from the mother of a Form III girl. Her daughter, she complained, had returned home later than usual the previous day. She had learnt that her daughter had dropped at Carnegie Library to research a topic for a project. She was calling to protest. She could not understand how I had allowed a young girl to go the library after school hours when the college already had a well-equipped one.

She was greatly irritated and vehement in her tone. I took a few seconds to get my ideas clear. Calmly and briefly, I explained that I had set no project work and had never asked her daughter, or any other student for that matter, to go to the library in question. She was entirely free to check it out if she desired. And the line went dead. I could imagine her slamming the telephone back in the cradle. The next day she sent me a note apologizing for the mistake and for being rude. The mistake was that it was the tuition teacher who had advised her daughter to use the materials of the Carnegie Library to complete her project.

This is just one example of a parent acting on the basis of wrong information, misunderstanding or confusion. Recently, in the course of a casual chat, a student?s father was telling me that in case his own daughter happened to run into any trouble with a teacher, he would stand by his child even if he knew perfectly well that the latter was at fault. A question of not losing face as a parent in front of the teacher and/or the rector. At home, however, he would severely admonish the child. But not at school. Not for anything in the world.

Support a child even if he or she is at fault. Leave the teacher to face the music even if he is innocent. This is the kind of attitude from some parents that is poisoning the lives of teachers today. We have a word for it: irresponsibility. Each time a child complains over the phone or at home about having been reprimanded or mishandled by a teacher, the parent must avoid over-reacting. He must keep his calm and try to get all the facts together, including the version of the teacher or that of any other party involved in the conflict, before taking any action.

Acting on impulse can make matters more complex than necessary. As an adult, a parent must know that he has to be fair. He needs to know what happened exactly. He needs to ask himself some questions. Did the teacher go too far, and, if yes, why? Is it possible that the child may be blowing up the issue? The child may be telling the truth, but is it the whole truth?

The parent must follow the normal procedures. Listen to the teacher at least. Then, if he still is not satisfied, he may decide to go ahead with the matter and ask for sanctions against the teacher. But at least he gave the teacher a chance to explain himself. The parent has chosen to adopt a restrained and tactful approachto get a fair deal for his child. Parents must do things in a clean way instead of acting on the spur of the moment. They must seek redress established procedures and think of repercussions.

However much we love our children, we must not forget that they are amazingly capable of distorting or misreporting an incident. Or of making up a story with typically miserable, watery-looking eyes. Their version must be verified instead of suddenly pouncing on the teacher either alone or with thugs at school or in the streets.

Teachers are often blamed for nothing. A friend tells me that during an Open Day, a mother could not hide her annoyance at her daughter studying a literature text at Form IV level that her daughter apparently found difficult, boring and useless. ?Why have you chosen this text?? was the question she kept asking. In her mind, the teacher had no taste and was incompetent. The friend was taken aback by her aggressive attitude and especially by the fact that he was being criticized for something he was not responsible for. Her fighting mood scared him. He felt like a pail of water being tossed full in his face, he says. The truth was that his Head of Department had made the choice.

This is just to tell you how a few parents can go wrong when they do not hold the correct information.

<B>Suresh RAMPHUL</B>