Gentlemen

The term gentleman (from Latin gentilis) in its original sense denoted a man of good family. In this sense the word equates with the French gentilhomme (nobleman). The term ?gentry? in England reflects 19th century social class, as does the French noblesse. To a degree, ?gentleman? signified a man who did not need to work. It was at times applied to all men who did not work, leading to the phrase ?gentleman of leisure? to mean, ironically, ?unemployed? or worse, ?unemployable?.

In modern times, the term has been democratised, to include any man of good, courteous conduct. Widening further, it has become standard politeness for all, as in the opening phrase of most if not all elegant or business speeches, addresses and announcements, namely: ?Ladies and Gentlemen??, ?Mesdames et Messieurs?. the Italian ?Signore e Signori?, the German ?Damen und Herren?or the Swahili equivalent ?Ma bwana ma bibi? in which men get first citation in keeping with the African tradition! In political rallies and other such circumstances, terms like the Marxist ?comrades? or the local equivalent ?Mo bann kamarad? makes no distinction between the sexes. Finally, for practical purposes, the term gentleman applies to all human males when reference is necessary for gender-separated facilities, such as toilets, bathrooms, hairdressing saloons, etc.

We are further reminded that the appellation of gentleman is never to be linked to a man's circumstances, but to his behaviour. In this connection, one may quote an old story, attributed to English King James II, who replied to a lady petitioning him to make her son a gentleman, ?I could easily make him a nobleman, but God Almighty could not make him a gentleman.? To behave like a gentleman is, however, defined according to the context in which one is. To ?spend money like a gentleman? at the racecourse, for example, is surely no great praise; but ?to conduct business like a gentleman? implies a high standard where, for example, an agreement reached verbally and sealed through a hand-shake (?a gentleman?s agreement?) is as binding on both parties as a legally drawn-up and signed bond. In politics the gentleman or lady is one who only makes feasible promises, which he/she genuinely intends to keep. The judgement comes later, at the end of the mandate with the palpable proof that his word has been as good as gold (or otherwise!). On this basis, how many true gentlemen have we had in Mauritian politics, from 1968 to date? Someone with time to spare could analyse facts and establish a short-list.

In another sense, being a gentleman means treating others in a respectful manner; especially women. A gentleman does not take advantage of his position nor does he try to push others into doing things they choose not to do. The exceptions being such things as reminding someone of his/her obligations or need to do something for their own good, as in ?get this car checked at the earliest? or ?be encouraged to apply for this post/ scholarship/opening?. A gentlemen in a position of authority is recognised at once by the way in which he puts people at ease and, for example, receives a most humble old pensioner as courteously as he does an ambassador!

Ladies

In essence, what is true for a Gentleman is equally true for a Lady. In practical terms, they differ. Feeling rather unqualified to write from personal experience, however wide or narrow that might be, I am going to take refuge in other people?s quotes, in the hope of giving you, ladies and gentlemen readers of l?express, a palette of views on what is it that defines a lady.

Apart from the use of the term ?Lady? as a title (opposite to ?Sir? or ?Lord?), modern usage (according to Kathleen Pitre) defines a lady as ?a well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behaviour; a woman regarded as proper and virtuous; a well-behaved young girl; a woman of refinement and gentle manners; a woman of superior social position?. At the opposite end of these ?lady-like? manners is that assertion of strength from the women?s lib movement which concludes: ?Well-behaved women rarely make history?. Advocates of non-sexist language tend to forbid its use to refer to the sex of a working person, as in lady lawyer and lady doctor, preferring (if sex has to be specified) the terms female lawyer or woman doctor. Others recommend not using the word at all, except in parallel uses in the same circumstances in which a man would be called a gentleman (as in Ladies and Gents or as in landlady , the parallel of landlord). Consider these:

?Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren?t?, (Margaret Thatcher, the so-called ?iron lady?).

?The attributes of a great lady may still be found in the rule of the four S's: Sincerity, Simplicity, Sympathy, and Serenity?, Emily Post. ?A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman? (Russell Lynes). Miss Manners cannot think of a more succinct definition of a lady than ?someone who wants to punch another person in the nose, but doesn?t?.?A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally? (Lillian Day).

From the point of view of relationships, lady-like behaviour is defined by a series of rather artificial dos and donts, but which at times reflect profound truths, for example: ?A lady never asks a gentleman how much money he makes (she finds out!); on an evening out, a lady does not discuss personal past relationships with the person she is dating, nor flirt with men that she is not interested in, nor of course engage in prolonged public displays of affection, etc - the list is long!

In conclusion, I shall happily quote Herbert Spencer on the proper upbringing of children : ?Never educate a child to be a gentleman or lady only, but to be a man, a woman? and specifically in the upbringing of girls, heed that truth expounded many years ago by a suffragette, but which is still true today, in many circles of many countries: ?Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult?.

Dr.Michael Atchia

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