I am going to exercise vigourously at least once every day. I will only eat healthy food and in moderation. I am only going to take alcoholic drinks on special occasions. I will keep in close touch with my various relatives and friends and try to help them whenever I can. I am going to learn new skills and achieve more life goals. By the end of the year, I wil be able to fly over Le Morne, while creating web pages with my toes on my laptop and whistling Dixie through my bottom.

I am aware that some of the things that I have written before this year have been regarded as a little childish. From now on, I am going to be more serious. Even my children are saying that it?s time I grew up! My only hope is that other people and organisations will follow my example. I don?t want to be the only serious person around this year. For instance ? the people that make plastic clothes pegs! Why don?t they just come to terms with the fact that their products are no good. You cannot make clothes pegs out of plastic. OK they can put 30 plastic pegs into a cellophane wrapper and get them onto the market for 2 rupees less than the proper wooden ones. BUT ? they break the moment you start to use them. The bits fall onto the ground where they can lie undiscovered for 2 years (it will take more than 200 years before they biodegrade). It can be worse when the dog Englebert eats them and needs a small operation to remove them from his tummy. They can break the lawn mower or skewer an unprotected foot. Worse than this, they are always a revolting colour, such as lime green or ?dolly mixture pink?. Not the kind of colour that will blend easily into the environment. I am sure that the world will be a better place if we just come to terms with some basic truths. Plastic clothes pegs are like trying to make elastic bands out of lettuce leaves or fireworks that don?t draw attention to themselves. My new year resolution is that I will never vote for any political party that allows the continued production of plastic clothes pegs. Now I feel better that I have made a contribution to serious journalism?

Jules JERRET