Among the tensions that many of us face in life, is the tension of having a bad habit and knowing that we have it. We have a sense of it when we indulge in the habit and know that we are irritating, worrying, inconveniencing, or sometimes even spoiling the lives of ours and our dear ones. We know that we should get rid of it but? somehow we just don?t.

But what is a habit? Psychology defines it as a form of learned behaviour, which becomes automatic because it provides us with pleasure and comfort. A habit might be a good one and, in that case, we are congratulated on it. A bad habit, however, has negative consequences, sometimes serious ones and everyone tells us to get rid of it. But we still resort to it as it gives us immediate pleasure and comfort. And, when we are under stress, we tend to indulge in it automatically as an escape.

A few of the more stubborn among us may even refuse to acknowledge that we have a bad habit. ?I just like a game of cards for relaxation, you know!? we may protest. ?It is not as if I have an aptitude for gambling.? And this, when half of our salary is being thrown away on cards and our spouses are threatening to leave us!

Or, we may brush the habit aside and say that we are only human after all and that people should accept us as we are. Of course, ?to err is human? but ?to admit it is not.? This may be all right if the habit is a minor one like some people have of jigging the feet as they sit. Irritating, but nothing that we need cause a major annoyance in the home.

Into this same category fall habits like biting one?s nails, being late, having peculiar mannerism of speed, being wasteful or excessively careful with the pennies and the like. These can be exasperating to people we interact with, but they don?t harm anyone. Need we then try to overcome them?

Well, yes, if you know they exasperate people, make you look odd or betray your nervousness to the world. However, they are not all that important. Habits that fall into this category are smoking, drinking, eating, shopping or even working. When these get out of the hand, they are not only habit. They become addiction.

This is not the only type of habit and in the next category falls not-so-minor habits that distress people, make them dislike you. These include nagging, constantly being critical, triumphantly saying, ?I told you so,? being argumentative and confrontational, gossiping, telling white lies, being lazy, overacting, giving free advice, imposing one?s ideas, kleptomania. It goes without saying that we should definitely try to overcome these habits.

Sow a thought, reap a manner,

Sow a manner, reap a habit,

Sow a habit, reap a character.

Thus, our habits reflect our character. We become what we think, our thought becomes our way of life, and our life style becomes our habits. ?Habits maketh man.? Man is the sum-total of his habits. Minus habits, man becomes God.

Therefore, to earn a good character, one must first and foremost earn good habits. The individual must make an assessment of his strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

<B>Zafirah FOONDUN</B>