I am writing to you on behalf of my wife and myself. We are both 26 year old. We have been married for five years. We have a one-month-old baby boy. We are very happy. All seems fine and you are probably puzzled why I am writing. Well, the fact is that we are wondering about the changes we are experiencing in our family life. Could you please explain? Thank you for your help.

<B>V & M</B>

Your question gives the opportunity to broach the subject, which in turn will hopefully encourage other parents to share the problem they are encountering with their progenies. There is no doubt that a new arrival can be the cause of a lot of upheaval in the life of the parents both on a physical and emotional level.

There is a lot of pleasure to look forward to but there are also potential difficulties and the more you are aware of them, the better you will cope. To become parent for the first time is a unique experience. Once, you are a parent, it is for life whatever the circumstances you find yourself in. A new baby will bring changes to all aspects of your life. It has a radical impact on your daily life and the way you have been living as a couple. The emotional changes can be momentous dependent on the way you cope individually and as a couple.

First, there are the practical changes. The sleeping pattern of the parents is disturbed. There is a redistribution of the household chores to cope with the new arrival. If you are both working, you have to make child care arrangements. It might mean a drop in income if one parent decides to give up work and that is at a time when probably you could do with an increase in your income. With all the time focused on the new baby, that means less time for all other matters, the welfare of baby takes precedent over all else.

Going out as a couple is not always easy, it requires readjustment. It can be a bumpy ride and can result in some emotional ups and downs. Of course, coming to terms with being parents demand a lot of understanding and support for each other.

In a way, couples feel really adults when they become parents. It affects women and men differently. For a woman, it is a new process that is to think and act as a mother. She needs to think about the baby?s needs constantly as compared to previously when only her own needs were her main concern. For men, the changes are not as radical. Their role is more of a supportive nature. The man might need emotional reassurance as all the attention is focused on baby. Of course, if there is homogeneity in your approach, the joys will outweigh the difficulties.

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