By Deepa BHOOKHUN

Dear Mr Jugnauth,

I thought I would write you this letter seeing that your preferred means of communication with people ? especially those who have once qualified to be called your brothers ? is through the press.

I won?t be very long and take up your precious time. You see, I understand that people are busy and hate to be bothered by petty things which are immaterial to their existence. I am sorry to say though that this thought does not seem to have crossed your mind at all. I do not mean to be rude but seriously, sir, have you ever considered the fact that your weekly fights with Paul Bérenger might not interest people? That your squabbles might actually bore them senseless?

Might I suggest that, next time you are unhappy with the way Mr Bérenger treats you, you telephone him and tell him your mind in the privacy of your office? Is it really necessary to call the press for a ?conference? every time you feel offended? I know, Mr Bérenger is also guilty of washing his dirty linen in public but what can you do? Habits of a lifetime are hard to lose!

But do you have any idea how those who listen to you and read about what you said receive your views on the matter at hand? And that it does absolutely nothing for your image?

I?ll admit it; your first disagreement with the MMM leading to your separation - that in fact told us everything we needed to know about the nature of your relationship ? was first class news! I mean, wow! It is Mauritius after all and politics is most people?s favourite pastime and we all revelled in the excitement of the break-up ? it got our adrenaline pumping. ?Something is happening!? we thought ecstatically.

But then you lost the ability to bring our adrenaline level up again. It is your own fault; you do know that, don?t you? You do know that everything in excess is bad? Oh! you didn?t? Well, take it from me, it is.

Don?t get me wrong; it is not that I blame you for being a true politician and thinking that the end justifies the means (I am talking about your arranged marriage with Mr Bérenger.) I don?t blame you for that, how could I? What else is Ramgoolam doing being a ?gatherer? (rassembleur) and all? But at least he does it secretly!

But let me tell you one thing; the shall-we-or-shall-we-not game does not, repeat NOT, interest people. And do you know how many times you have played it? Almost every week for nearly a year! It has been incessant! Will you please now give us a break?

If you really have to speak to Mr Bérenger, do us a favour and call him. If you are angry and offended with something he has said please vent your anger on one of your faithful friends at the Sun Trust, they?ll be more than happy to listen with empathy. They could even leak the news to us that ?the leader is livid? ? this will make much more interesting headlines and people might actually start listening again to what you have to say.

I have to apologise for the length of this letter though ? I am guilty of exactly what I am reproaching you for.

In case you?ve missed the essence of it ? as people do when the one talking ? or writing ? goes on and on, (like I?ve just done) let me just summarize; next time you have a message for Paul Bérenger, call him!