Domestic violence. 16-day campaign? Ladies, the problem is not just physical. Abuse is abuse, whether it leaves a physical scar or not. And mental torture is so much more widespread. How do you define mental torture? I don?t know; but I?ll tell you how to recognize it. Whenever a man makes you cry.

Somebody said to me the other day that domestic violence stems from the ambiguity in the relationship between a man and a woman. Think about it. It makes so much sense, more so in this repressive, taboo and hypocritical society we?re living in.

Most men look at their female colleague in the work place and what they will see is not this brilliant team-mate or this mediocre collaborator as the case may be but how long or nice or short the legs are. And other parts of the anatomy. Can you blame them? Men are after all part of a system, they have grown up believing their sexual urges were immoral and should not be lived out in the open. And yet among their peers, they look good if they live out their sexuality. From a forbidden fruit, the woman becomes this ?thing? that you love and desire and admire but that you despise and don?t trust.

Why do men ill-treat women? It has to do with weakness, with insecurity, with a feeling of failure, of helplessness. It?s never a nice emotion. It is ugly and it comes out only in complex-riddled and insecure men. But that?s their problem. As selfish as this may sound, the victims have to understand one fundamental thing; they cannot spend the rest of their lives trying to make up for what went wrong in their partners? lives once upon a time.

When their lives become bitter they have to walk away before they start losing all control over their existence. If they choose not to, there is nothing anyone can do. But the problem is, where to run? Who do you talk to? Who soothes your spirit and gives you your dignity back? The authorities are giving a helping hand for sure but are we ready also to do our bit? I thought we might be. Until I read what somebody who calls himself the rambler wrote in a weekly. I?ll share this enormity with you. ?A man does not beat his wife in order to derive any sort of pleasure. Such physical violence is almost always in retaliation to prolonged mental torture, meant to put a temporary stop to a well oiled nagging machine.? I?m sorry?

This is exactly the kind of attitude that we need to eradicate. The message to battered women is simple. No one has the right to abuse you. Regardless of the circumstances. Regardless of what you may think you have done wrong. If somebody cannot respect you in all your dignity and individuality and everything else that makes you the special and unique person you are, it is their problem. Not yours. For your sake and the sake of your children and the sake of other women, you need to turn your back and walk away.

Abuse, of any kind, is a sign of utter disrespect. And I do not care what people say, women bring this upon themselves by condoning this behaviour, by allowing men to make them shed tears. Let?s hope they don?t wait until the tears turn crimson red?