« Mon mari souffre d?éjaculation précoce»

A

La communication est essentielle. Je le dis assez souvent en ce qui concerne les problèmes et je suis heureux que vous ayez pris bonne note. Les problèmes, on doit toujours en parler et même si on ne trouve pas la solution immédiatement, au moins on en est conscient. Avant tout, voici une définition de l?éjaculation précoce. «C?est un manque de contrôle pour l?homme. Il ne peut pas contrôler son éjaculation. Il éjacule soit avant même la pénétration ou tout juste après.»

Il s?agit d?un dysfonctionnement sexuel fréquent. Un très gros pourcentage d?hommes est atteint de ce problème à divers degrés. Ce n?est pas une maladie mais un trouble sexuel, une panne sexuelle. C?est très commun aussi parmi les jeunes qui sont à leurs premières expériences sexuelles. Mais pour eux, c?est passager parce qu?ils commencent très vite à pouvoir exercer un contrôle sur leur éjaculation. Vous dites une autre chose qui est très vraie, les hommes n?aiment pas en parler et en conséquence le problème perdure.

Il y a trente ou quarante ans, ce n?était pas considérer comme un problème par les hommes parce que les femmes ne se plaignaient pas. Mais de nos jours, avec l?émancipation de la femme au niveau sexuel, la femme exige d?obtenir du plaisir sexuel. C?est tout à fait juste parce que pendant trop longtemps, l?homme a agit en égoïste et n?a pensé uniquement qu?à son propre plaisir. Le traitement est plus psychologique que médical parce que ce n?est pas une maladie. La technique comportementale est souvent utilisée par les professionnels.

L?arrivée de la pilule a permis à la grande majorité des femmes d?accéder à la contraception et cela a changé leur comportement sexuel. Le plaisir sexuel est devenu quelque chose que les femmes ont commencé à revendiquer. En conséquence, l?homme a été forcé de changer son comportement sexuel et à s?adapter à cette demande. Pour résoudre le problème de l?éjaculation précoce ou prématurée, il y a trois conditions qui doivent être prises en considération :

• L?homme doit apprendre comment contrôler son éjaculation

• L?élimination de l?angoisse d?échec

• L?attention donnée aux besoins du partenaire

Il y a deux techniques bien connues qui sont :

Technique inventée par «Seemans» et par la suite reprise par Masters et Johnson, la technique s?appelle Le squeeze.

La deuxième a été inventée par Kaplan et est connue comme le Stop-Go.

Je pense qu?on peut dire que le problème de votre mari est un problème de couple parce que la coopération des deux partenaires est essentielle. Je pense qu?initialement, vous devriez consulter un professionnel qui vous expliquera et vous guidera dans la façon de vous servir d?une des deux techniques mentionnées. En conclusion, je dirai à tous les hommes qui souffrent de l?éjaculation précoce de consulter un professionnel parce que le problème peut être résolu. Plus vous tardez avant de vous décider, le plus difficile sera pour résoudre le problème.

Claude

«My boyfriend is going out with another girl»

R

You have quite a number of questions to ask and I will try to do my best to answer all of them. For your first love, you could not have picked a more complex situation. It is a real love triangle. It is somewhat strange to note that both girls (that is your rival and yourself) are fully aware that S is seeing both of you at the same time. Both of you girls must be very gullible because you believe and accept everything S says. He might have the look of Adonis, be full of charm and have other qualities but it is clear that he must feel that he has hit the jackpot because he has two girls at his beck and call and both believe implicitly in his every word.

What makes the situation more incredulous is despite all this, you are both vying for his affection and love. He must really think that it is his birthday. Christmas and New Year have all come at the same time. He says that the other girl in his life will tell your parents if he ever decides to leave her. Do you not think that he is using this ploy only to continue the relationship with the other girl? You are a very willing and trusting partner and prepared to take everything at face value. I feel that he is using this tactic to keep you quiet and prevent you from making waves that is likely to rock the boat for him. At present things could not be better, he can interchange between two girls and there is no good reason in his mind for him to change anything as long as all are very happy with the present arrangement. Now I will endeavour to answer your question as comprehensively as possible.

Is S with me just because I am willing to have sex with him? The answer must be a resounding yes if he sees you only when he wants to have sex and if in between, he avoids meeting you. I have a feeling that you are conscious of that but your infatuation for S prevents you to dump him.

Should I believe him when he tells me that he loves me? I am more or less sure that he is merely using you to satisfy his own personal needs. He is using what he considers to be a position of strength to keep both of you hanging on.

Should I stay with him or leave him? You should leave him now because you are getting more and more entangled in his web of deceit. If you do not leave him, he will eventually leave you and that would be even more painful. If you leave him now, you will suffer initially but if you are prepared to attend to the hurt and move on, you are likely to meet somebody else more worthy of your love.

Claude

Bullying at work (Part One)

Bullying is not restricted to school playgrounds. It happens all too often at workplaces, making the lives of many workers intolerable. Bullying at work is an unacceptable behaviour. We all have the right to be treated with dignity and respect at work. Bullying is a denial of this right. Health and safety is concerned with obligations between employers and employees.

What is bullying

Workplace bullying can be defined as : Offensive, intimidating, malicious, insulting or humiliating behaviour, abuse of power or authority which attempts to undermine an individual or group of employees and which may cause them to suffer stress.

Recognising bullying

Bullying can occur in a number of different ways. Some are obvious and easy to identify. Others are more subtile and difficult to explain.

Bullying behaviour includes:

• Making life difficult for those who have the potential to do the bully?s job better than the bully.

• Punishing others for being too competent by constant criticism or by removing their responsibilities, often giving them trivial tasks to do instead.

• Refusing to delegate because they feel that they cannot trust anybody else.

• Shouting at others to get things done.

• Persistently picking on people in front of others or in private.

• Insisting on a way of doing things as being always right.

• Keeping individuals in their place by blocking their promotion.

• If someone challenges a bully?s authority, he or she is likely to overload them with work or reduce the deadlines hoping that they will fail in what they do.

• Feeling envious of another?s professional or social ability, so setting out to make them appear incompetent or make their lives miserable, in the hope of getting them dismissed or making them resigned.