Have you noticed how most people are embarrassed by silence? Put two or more managers in a room and whenever there is a lull in the conversation, you will almost immediately pick up the embarrassed smiles, notice the fidgeting on the chairs or hear the inevitable references to either the weather or politics. On this island, we share a universal belief with many other managers throughout the world that all gaps in a conversation have to be filled quickly – to let them linger is a sign of clumsiness or a downright social defect. Silent periods are perceived as awkward and gauche moments and we are even taught that “polished” executives are those who succeed in filling up these silent moments with conversation.

Have you also noticed how, even when we are alone, we feel ill at ease or restless with silence and invariably turn on the television, music or read a book? We have no training in silence; we see it as both unwieldy and confusing. We are afraid of silence.

It is indeed a fact that in our modern world, silence has practically ceased to exist. Not only do we seem determined to destroy planet Earth, by covering its surface with concrete and plundering, its oceans of anything we can lay our hands on, but we appear convinced that unless we can swamp its natural sounds with a cacophony of man-made noises, somehow we wouldn’t have achieved our mission in life. Even on this island, which many describe as a haven from the hustle and bustle of the big cities, we live against the background of this cacophony. From my window on the third floor, I have no option but to be assaulted daily by the incessant roar of the traffic competing with the clanging and thudding of machinery as yet another concrete edifice is being erected on the other side of the road.

This incessant bombarding by a bewildering variety of noises can only have a negative impact on us. Psychologists have used it to explain why modern living has become so stressful. They’ve claimed that as our senses have to absorb and process so much noisy material, it’s only a matter of time before we become drained of energy and are “run down”.

I believe that this incessant bombarding is the main reason as to why we can no longer tolerate silence – either when in a group or by ourselves. Our minds have become chatterboxes or records that can no longer be stopped or paused, even momentarily.

It was Wayne W Dyer, author of The Wisdom of Ages, who once wrote: “It has been estimated that the average person has 60 000 separate thoughts each and every day. The problem is that we have the same thoughts today that we had yesterday, and we’ll repeat them again tomorrow. Most of us have minds that race full-speed day and night. Our thoughts are a hodgepodge of continuous dialogue like a merry-go-round that never stops creating a mental pattern that leaves no space for silence.”

Before we fall apart altogether as a society or human beings, we have to learn to be silent. We need to find and enter the space that exists between two sentences in a conversation or two thoughts. If we want to discover who we are and understand ourselves, this silence has to be. Only through this silence can we go deep into ourselves and face our fears, hopes and petty thoughts. Only through the stillness that silence brings can we reach deep in ourselves and discover our creative nature and this boundless energy which occurs when we are who we are. This is indeed the power of silence.

It was Pythagoras, some 500 years before Christ, who wrote: “Learn to be silent. Let your quiet mind listen and absorb.” We must heed these words.

<B>Prof E. Charoux

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