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<B>«I want something different»</B>

I am a 21 year old woman married with a child of 2. I am happily married but sometimes I feel that I want something different. I want to be with my friends and go out to night clubs and generally have a good time. What is not helping is the fact that we have recently bought our own house near Ebène and that means I do not meet my old friends that I had where we live previously though I do phone them. All this is getting me down. Could you please help me because I do love my husband very much. Thank you.

I feel that it is being stuck at home all day long with your child that is getting you down. It is only natural because you want to meet other people. Obviously, the fact that you have moved to a new environment does not help. At 21, married and already a mother, perhaps you are starting to think that you have given up your independence too early but on a positive side, there are lots to appreciate.

Being happily married as you say with a lovely child is something that perhaps a lot of your friends would long for. However, at such a tender age with enormous responsibilities can be disheartening at times. Getting married does not mean that you should stop enjoying life. It is just that you would have to do it from a different perspective.

I do not know how old your husband is. I am sure he is not ready to sit at home and behave like an old married man. You can still have lots of fun together but having a child means that there is more planning to be done in order to be able to go out but it is not insurmountable. Perhaps, you would argue that you have not lived your life to the full before your marriage but remember you have chosen to do so because you love your husband very much.

You are happily married. It is just the ancillary matters that are getting you down. There is no earthly reason why you cannot make friends where you are now. Join a local club. You can invite your friends to come and visit you. Time and arrangements permitting, you can still go out with them.

Take up other hobbies/interests on you own or in conjunction with your husband. What is crucial is that you must share these anxieties with your husband, he will probably come up with helpful suggestions to make your life together more enjoyable. Please do not wreck a loving relationship on purely wishful thinking.