“Wake up, Kim. It’ll soon be noon,” coaxed Romy. It was a cold Saturday morning in July 199-, Romy’s son, who was on school holiday, was still in bed snoring. As early risers, nothing could be more frustrating for Romy and his wife Nora who had both slaved away to come up in life. By the time they were getting ready for lunch, their son had yet to take his breakfast. But they could not blame anyone, not even Kim because they had encouraged this “bad” habit: they had pampered him since childhood.

Before Romy married Nora, he had had a hard life. His mother had been widowed when he was in lower primary. She worked in sugarcane plantations besides rearing some cattle. Kind-hearted and understanding as Romy was, he would get up very early to help his mother before going to school; during his holidays, he went with her to work in the fields and fetch fodder for the livestock.

Because he had known extreme poverty, he always hoped that when he had his own family, he would never let his children suffer or go short of anything; he would give them all and perhaps more than they asked for. That was his most serious mistake that brought about Kim’s undoing and his parents’ disillusionment: they had raised a pampered child.

It’s no exaggeration to say that today too much is “laid on” for the growing child. Because many parents starved when they were small, they provide their children with everything; sometimes they go out of their way and may do without certain primary things in order to meet their children’s needs.

In the morning, some over-protective parents even get their bigger children ready for school: they wash, dress, feed them and hand them their bags with everything inside - books, copybooks, lunch and what not… without forgetting pocket money, which can amount to hundreds of rupees. Although there is free bus fare now, some parents prefer to drop their children at school. One mother is so caring that she keeps feeding her daughter who attends university, lest she might go hungry.

Many parents do things themselves instead of asking their children. It may look good but children who are enthusiastic about learning from their parents sometimes feel miserable when told not to do this and that… The limit of their frustration has no end when their parents say their only job is to get on with their assignments and study.

In fact, most growing children not only enjoy but take pride in doing what parents entrust them with. At this important stage of their development, they are curious to learn anything their parents are doing so as to eventually become skilled in it. Who knows? That could become their means of livelihood.

Children are filled with boundless energy. Besides homework and study, parents should see that their children’s efforts are properly channelled. It is important that parents delegate responsibilities to their children and give them the opportunity to learn by trial and error; they can sometimes be assigned hard tasks that help to bring out qualities – determination, endurance, resilience of mind, strength, etc.

Instead of turning out “cotton wool babies” by spoiling your children, you can show them the right direction. Though school, church and social organisations are important in contributing towards children’s character and development, parents come first. As you are proud and happy about giving your children a good start in life, you are also responsible for fostering bad habits in them. The choice is yours to make – whether to be parents of a pampered generation or worthy citizens whom everybody will praise and thank you for one day.

<B>Kaviraj SOHUR</B>