The following is a transcript of a conversation between a rock and a tree that took place at an indeterminate date:

- It looks like it’s going to be a hot day, eh?

- What’s it to you? It’s not like you’ve got feelings or anything.

- Goodness, aren’t we touchy? Especially for something wooden.

- I’m sorry. It’s just that you don’t know how good you have it. Trees are being chopped down left, right and centre. My number could be up any day now. Whereas you, well you’re basically indestructible.

- I daresay that you’re talking out of your canopy. Haven’t you seen those giant yellow scorpions that destroy everything in their path with their steel stings? I’m just as risk of being obliterated as you are. Like it or not, we’re in the same boat, fellow.

- Alright, alright…I might have jumped the gun just a bit.

- I’m better placed than most to know that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

- I said I’m sorry!

- Are you really though? Let me tell something to put things into perspective for you. People love trees: you make life on this planet possible by turning sunlight into food, you provide shade and shelter and you absorb carbon dioxide, a nifty attribute to have in this era of climate change. Yes, you’re still being chopped down but at least people are aware of the problem. Nobody in their right mind cares about us lowly rocks though, except perhaps for a few frazzled geologists.

- I see where you’re coming from now. It must be pretty tough to be consistently ignored like that.

- You have no idea. Getting gratitude from humans is like getting, ahem, blood from a stone.

- So what exactly do you propose other than just soaking up the sun and moaning?

- In a nutshell, an education.

- I’m sorry for pointing out the blindingly obvious, but you’re just a rock, a lump of inanimate matter. How do you intend going about educating the world, if you don’t mind my asking.

- Ah my leafy friend, despite not being a rolling stone I’m a step or two ahead of you already.

- What do you mean?

- It’s simple. I don’t plan on doing anything. I’m just going to sit pretty and let things follow their natural course. Sooner or later, humans are going to run out of things to destroy and they’ll eventually turn against each other. That’s where we come in. Animistic beliefs will be back in fashion and we’ll be worshipped like gods, just like in the good old times.

- That’s sounds rather optimistic.

- Well, you’ll never know will you?

- What do you mean?

- Don’t look now but there’s a man with a chainsaw right behind you