« Je me sens vieux et tellement seul »

Je suis un célibataire de 53 ans et j?ai eu beaucoup d?aventures avec des femmes presque jamais sans suite. J?ai toujours pensé que le mariage n?était pas pour moi, satisfait avec la vie que je menais. La responsabilité d?être en couple me faisait toujours peur.

Maintenant, après avoir passé la cinquantaine, je me sens tellement seul. Je regrette un peu de n?avoir pas eu le courage de me marier. Je me sens vieux et j?aurais aimé avoir une compagne pour partager ma vie.

Quelles sont les implications de la vie de couple ? Que dois-je faire ? Comment la séduire ? J?ai perdu un peu cette habitude après n?avoir pas connu des femmes ces temps derniers. J?ai besoin de votre aide, je suis sûr que vos précieux conseils vont m?aider.

G

Avant de penser à aimer une autre personne, il faut qu?on apprenne à s?aimer soi-même. Il faut qu?on se voie d?une façon positive, qu?on se respecte. L?amour de soi apparaît dans la moindre de nos actions et spécialement quand on prend des décisions pour notre bien-être.

On doit se rappeler que l?amour inconditionnel puise sa force dans la certitude qu?on est prêt d?accepter les actes, les paroles et sentiments de l?autre. Pour parvenir à cette tolérance, il faut qu?on puisse le faire avec soi-même en premier. Faire partie d?un couple apporte des changements positifs et négatifs. On passe graduellement du ? Je? au ?Nous? et cela implique beaucoup de choses.

On a désormais une personne qui nous aime, qui nous accorde son attention, qui prend soin de nous, qui nous épaule dans nos épreuves.

Etre à deux signifie qu?on a maintenant à prendre en considération les désirs, les aspirations, les sentiments et même les caprices de l?autre. Il faut comprendre et s?adapter pour l?harmonie du couple.

En couple, on doit accepter les joies et les difficultés, en d?autres mots, il faut essayer d?intégrer les aspects négatifs et positifs. Maintenant qu?on a bien exploré les implications de la vie de couple, parlons de votre question.

Vous pensez que vous êtes maintenant arrivé à un certain âge où c?est nécessaire de vous marier et de partager votre vie avec une compagne. Je pense que vous devriez sérieusement prendre en considération tout ce que j?ai expliqué, parce que ce n?est pas uniquement pour avoir une compagne.

Revenons à votre question ?Comment séduire une femme? ? Il n?y a pas de façon bien définie de le faire. Malgré cela il y a des règles qu?on doit prendre en considération. C?est très important de les comprendre. L?autre règle, c?est de démontrer votre amour pour celle que vous avez choisie. Si elle sent que vous êtes attentif à ses besoins, la bataille sera à moitié gagnée.

Vous apprendrez à mieux connaître la personne par la conversation, la façon dont elle pense, ses gestes etc. Mais le conseil le plus important que je peux vous donner, c?est essayer de mieux les comprendre, de passer du temps avec elle, sans vouloir commencer une relation permanente, cela vous permettra de vous sentir à l?aise avec elles généralement. Votre vie sociale avec la personne de votre choix va certainement favoriser cette compréhension mutuelle.

L?amour peut nous apporter bien des choses, de la joie, épanouissement et mieux resserrer les liens de cette relation mais pourtant vous ne serez jamais une personne complète si vous ne parvenez pas à vous aimer vous-même en premier.

Vous avez la capacité d?attirer les femmes, c?est à vous de concrétiser les relations que vous désirez et qui vous apporteront le bonheur.

lease help my grandson»

I am a retired 61 year old man. My wife who is equally 61 years is also retired. We have been happy together for the past 30 years. We have a son. He was married but is currently waiting for his divorce to be finalized. He has one son aged 8 years old. Since his separation, he has retuned to live with us, that was ten months ago. Following his separation, his wife agreed that my grandson should live with his father and so they both live with us. As my son works, we look after our grandson. It was also agreed between my son and his wife that she would have access every week end.

The problem is that she does not come every weekend and we are doing our very best for him but how can we explain to him the long absences of his mother? I can see that he is very upset, the whole situation has been rather difficult for him and we try to do what we can. Please help. What do we need to do as grandjohnnparents? We help our son in every practical way that we can. My son also seems to be overcome by all these events. Thank you.

E

Unfortunately these days, divorce is becoming too common and the children are the innocent parties of the break up of the family. Children are affected in varying degrees following the initial separation of their parents and sometimes they have a feeling that it is their fault that their parents are not together anymore. What your grandson needs most of all at this stage is the love of his family. Your grandson probably feels that her mother?s long absences are down to him, something he has done, hence why your love and that of your wife and son is so important. However acrimonious and difficult a separation is, whatever the rights and wrongs of either partner, the parents concerned must ensure that the child or children suffer the least. I choose my words with great care because whatever the parents do or do not do during the separation, it is going to be a painful process for the children to endure. Our responsibility as parents is to ensure that this blow is cushioned to the maximum. The mother has let his son down badly but you must refrain from criticizing her because that is not what your grandson wants to hear. He does not want to hear criticisms of his mother.

At present your grandson is feeling bad. He is not seeing his mother as much and as often as he would like. Can you imagine what he must be going through with these prolonged absences? Your grandson wants his mother constantly in his life. He must not feel guilty about loving her despite her shortcomings. He has a fundamental right to feel secure; all of you must be there to provide it to him. You need also to think of your son, his well being is equally paramount, he must be going through a difficult time, a divorce pending, an absentee mother and a son to look after, and that sounds very daunting.

So that is why it is so important that your wife and yourself give him your total support and unconditional love. Your son needs your understanding to go through this difficult stage and all the practical help you can offer. Both your son and grandson need cheering up during this demanding time. They need lots of TLC (tender, loving, care). I do not know the reasons of the mother?s absence and you have not proffered any explanation. It would be good if your son is able to get in touch with her and seek an explanation. If he is not in a position to do so, you should do so in his place but please do not be antagonistic towards your ex-daughter in law, try to show compassion and offer any help that is within your possibilities. If for whatever reasons, the mother cannot change anything, encourage your grandson to write to his mother, not necessarily to send to her but to help to express his feelings and that should help him. You must reassure him that his mother still loves him very much and hopefully the circumstances will change soon. Your grandson needs your patience and tolerance; he might not behave as you would like him too. Sadly too often, divorced parents use their children as a means to get at each other. What they do not realize is that in trying to get at each other, the child is the one that is suffering the most. So as a thoughtful and considerate granddad, do your best for your grandson but you must encourage your son and his wife to be at least civil to each other for the sake of their son.