<B>?J?ai souffert en silence de la violence conjugale ?

Je m?appelle M et j?ai 46 ans. Je suis maintenant divorcée. Mon marié était très violent. Pendant de longues années, ma vie a été un vrai calvaire. J?étais agressée tant verbalement que physiquement. J?ai tout subi en silence. Après que mes deux enfants aient quitté le toit parental, j?ai demandé le divorce. Maintenant, je suis seule mais je me sens bien. J?ai le soutien de mes enfants qui sont maintenant mariés. J?ai réussi à sortir de cet enfer mais je voudrais que mon histoire fasse réfléchir les autres femmes battues pour qu?elles réagissent.

<B>M</B>

Je tiens à vous remercier d?avoir eu le courage de m?écrire après tout ce que vous aviez vécu. La violence des hommes contre les femmes est inacceptable. Je pense que les hommes qui sont violents envers les femmes sont des lâches. Malheureusement, trop de femmes acceptent cette violence et souffrent en silence.

Certaines femmes avancent cet argument : «On ne réagit pas à cause des enfants qui risquent de souffrir encore plus si une séparation s?ensuit.» Cet argument ne tient pas la route.

Les enfants peuvent souffrir beaucoup plus psychologiquement en étant des témoins de ces scènes violentes. Je sais que le ministre des droits de la Femme, du développement de l?Enfant et du bien-être de la Famille fait beaucoup pour combattre ce problème de société. Je profite de l?occasion pour rappeler à toutes les femmes qui souffrent toujours de cette violence que le ministère de la Femme a installé une ligne téléphonique, le 119. C?est gratuit et c?est ouvert 24 sur 24. Bien sûr, il y a aussi SOS Femmes (433 3391) qui est là pour vous aider dans les moments difficiles. Je pense que les autorités concernées devraient organiser beaucoup plus de causeries à ce sujet pour conscientiser le public sur le problème de la violence conjugale.

Les médias - télévision, radio et des panneaux publicitaires ? devraient être plus exploités. Je tiens à saluer votre courage d?avoir pris le temps de m?écrire afin que les autres femmes qui souffrent de la violence conjugale en silence puissent réagir d?une façon positive.

<B> ?I am tempted to accept a sexual relationship? </B>

I am a young girl of 20. So far in my life, my studies have taken priority over anything else. Now, I have successfully concluded all my examinations. I have never had a boyfriend before and recently I have met somebody and I am madly in love with him. The problem is that I feel so tense in his company.

I tend to agree practically to everything he says or decide. I am sure that he must think that I am absolutely stupid. I fear that he might get fed up with me and eventually end our relationship. He is keen to start a sexual relationship with me. I am tempted to accept so that he does not leave me. Please help me to get over the state of anxiety that I find myself constantly in his company.

<B>K</B>

I think that you need to count up to ten and think the whole thing through. I appreciate that you are on the first rung of the ladder of love and your boyfriend is your only encounter so far in terms of girl/boy relationship.

Please do not kid yourself in thinking that if you agree to have sex with him that would mean the very survival of your relationship. He could equally ditch you after that and your self-confidence will take another pounding.

It is important for you to understand that when sex is part of a loving relationship, there is openness and trust. So, it is up to you to decide when you are ready to have sex. You must not let yourself be pressurized in doing so to please others.

I realize that you are absolutely delighted to have your very first boyfriend and you feel that you need to impress him. But why do you agree with all his decisions? I can assure you that he will not appreciate that.

He wants to know what you think, what you feel and that is surely the best way for him to get to know and understand you better. Do not suppress your feelings just because he feels differently. He will appreciate it more if you can put your points of view forward. It is quite natural for you to be nervous and anxious as you delve into this new world of romance.

The mere fact that he has shown interest in you should be all the incentive you need to believe in yourself so that he can discover the real you.

To help you gain more confidence and express yourself more freely, suggest topics that you have an interest in and conversant with, that should put you at ease to talk about them. Share your anxieties with him.

He might be in a position to suggest ways and means to help you. Love is wonderful. It can be passionate, exciting and intoxicating, so be yourself and enjoy it.