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Tackling problems with wisdom
Several explanations may be given when things come to a head in a couple?s life or between friends or family members but one factor that is not often taken into account is the mishandling of words.
Words hurled in a moment of anger/frustration/depression do hurt and stay for a lifetime. It may be an insult, a foul word, an invective, lowering you in your own eyes, an accusation, an allegation, a lie. Each pierces the heart, leaving the person shattered. The person is psychologically and morally down and decides that the best thing is to part immediately to avoid poisoned arrows.
Wisdom demands that problems be solved tactfully and coolly. Flinging stinking tomatoes, rotten eggs, foul-smelling slippers and shoes at each other never did anybody any good. The thing it certainly does is raise the blood pressure, making you a potential victim of a heart attack.
The wise person understands that the tongue is an implacable weapon that needs to be controlled, for it is, as the Arab proverb goes, a lion: if you tie it up, it will protect you, if you let it free, it will devour you.
<B>Spiritual writings</B>
Spiritual writings give us a sense of direction. They encourage us to think about our actions. They invite us to peer into our lives and question ourselves and renew ourselves. They provide solace and change by helping us to perceive the world for the better. We feel a presence that emboldens us in the face of obstacles.
They make us wiser because they urge us to consider our place in society and to recognise our shortcomings. They instil values in us that make us better human beings. We are confronted with the worst of our habits and petty motives as well as a host of stinging truths. They give us insight into humanity, divinity, human relationships and then we are in a better position to understand the significance of life.
Spiritual writings make of us seekers of truths. They sharpen our ability to distinguish between good and bad, the genuine and the fake, and between those we can trust and those we can?t.
A wise person does not attempt to change what cannot be changed. But surely he can change himself by cleansing his own mind, by getting rid of the dust, dirt, grime and received ideas to grow fully and freely.
Too much of our time is spent in unproductive thoughts. These make us weak, pessimistic and depressive. Our relationships with others are strained, we don?t enjoy our work or food. Everything is reduced to a routine and we become cynical. We blame others, circumstances, even destiny, for such a state of affairs.
Wisdom demands that we replace morbid thoughts by sparkling, life-enhancing ones. Feeding the mind with positive affirmations liberates us from doubts, fears and uncertainties.
?Damn it! It?ll be a long, boring, uneventful day ahead!? Instead of bringing such self-defeating ideas to our minds in the morning, would it not be more rewarding to tell ourselves that we should be grateful we have been given with yet another day and to offer a prayer for this. Need I tell you that beginning the day constructively gives you a rare courage and a strong determination?
Self-control</B>
The wise man perceives that, without self-control, he is liable to excesses. In every sphere of life, self-control should be the guiding principle. Why is there so much misunderstanding and violence in families today? Why are there so many rape cases? Is it that people no longer know what respect means? Why is Aids spreading horribly and other diseases are following suit in spite of our world going modern and despite the campaigns? Today people do not care a hoot about the kind of food they are consuming, they no longer care about the things they are doing.
These words are worth mulling over. They come from the Bhagavad Gita though they could be echoes from other Scriptures as well: ?Treacherous are the senses. They are as impetuous as wild horses newly harnessed. Riding on them is risky to life. (?) Conquest of the senses is the means for attaining excellence here and hereafter. The refinement of an individual or a society is measured by the yardstick of sense control.?
There is always something new.
The wise man shuns arrogance and vanity and those qualities that will stand in the way of his personal growth. Such qualities make people ugly and despicable. Arrogance makes people feel that, if they are not around, the whole world will crumble to pieces. They come to believe they are indispensable and can boss everybody about, that they can look down on everyone.
What makes the charm of a person? His simplicity. His humility.
On the other hand, raving and ranting when things go wrong is sheer immaturity. Wisdom dictates that we can?t expect everything to go correctly for us. The wise person quietly, gracefully closes the door behind him and moves on, fully convinced that there is another door open somewhere, that there is always something new under the sun.
<B>Suresh RAMPHUL</B>
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