<B>By Deepa BHOOKHUN</B>

And so four guys and a girl decided to have group sex. Question one: so what? Question two: surely that?s their problem isn?t it?

But first things first: it?s not just their problem when they have broken the law - the legal age to have sex is 16. At the same time, a reportedly intelligent girl, in many ways an adult, except for her legal age, tells you no one raped her and she just wanted to have fun. So what do we do? Arrest the boys and treat them like criminals. We have to make an example of the boys?

But at some point we may have to take a decision about lowering the legal age of consent for sexual intercourse. Well, say what you want but if you can?t see the point I am trying to make it?s either because you suffer from a severe case of generation gap which separates you from today?s young people or you?re just a hypocrite.

Then what are all those endless patronising, sermonizing debates on ?our children?s sexuality? about? Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion; it?s ok to feel outraged that young people think so little of sex that they do not mind sharing it with a thousand other people. It?s ok to hope that our children will be different and share our own sense of values but that?s the best we can do. Many people I know have been quick to condemn the ?easy girl? and point a finger at the poor parents. My answer to them is that one day it could be your child. Parents do their part but one has no control over other people?s actions, does one?

Instead of indulging in our favourite pastime - passing judgments with gusto, why don?t we show some compassion for the victims of this tragic show?

This girl?s future will be forever marked by this regrettable incident. She will probably spend the rest of her life, untrusting of men, lacking in self confidence and God knows what else as she tries to shield herself from our disapproving stares. We are, aren?t we, an unforgiving and judgemental nation.

Four young people will see their future totally jeopardized. Four young men will go to jail and come out bitter, resentful of society and of women. Without anyone having explained to them that the worst thing they did was not to have group sex or to have slept with a minor. At the end of the day, what does that matter? Has anyone bothered to explain to those young men that the worst thing they did was to abuse a girl?s trust and failed to show her respect by deceiving her and diffusing what is basically an intimate experience, for the whole world to see? Did anyone bother explaining to them that a girl who sleeps with four men at the same time is still entitled to her privacy and to be shown respect because she is a human being? Naked or not?

Will one of the preachers please explain to them what the word respect means and how much breaching it matters?

But how could they? They, themselves don?t know the meaning of the word. You don?t believe me? Look at the way this whole thing has been treated!

Poor girls, poor boys, poor us.