By Deepa BHOOKHUN

I don?t know about you but I?m getting my kick out of following the manoeuvres of the two opposition parties getting ready for tomorrow?s May Day rally. Of course, the whole thing stinks of desperation but, in the absence of otherwise less controversial entertainment, what is one to do?

So I have entertained myself by imagining how our dear politicians are organising themselves. I imagine that both Paul Bérenger and Pravind Jugnauth have a checklist and that by tonight they will go through their lists a final time. (As an afterthought, I have added Ramgoolam?s checklist too but, poor thing, what is he to do in the face of such demagogy while he is busy running a country?) Here?s Pravind Jugnauth?s:

• Sodomy (have a go at Rama Valayden).

• Dev Hurnam?s arrest (another chance to crucify Valayden).

• Ramgoolam and decorum (but go easy on this one - one never knows - there might be an offer from Labour soon).

• Budget (show how Sithanen stole PJ ideas but should be careful here - must not publicly agree with unpopular measures). Talk about duty-free island to have something to counter Luchmeenaraidoo.

• MMM (blame them for everything else - they can share the blame with government for everything that goes wrong).

• Jeetah (blame him for rise in prices of commodities,arguments to be determined later).

• Best prime minister Pravind Jugnauth (only MSM can save country. Remind people of SAJ).

And on to Berenger?s:

• Rise in prices (blame Ramgoolam, Sithanen and Jeetah - only solution is general elections).

• Tianli ( Ramgoolam is ungrateful - compare with father and remind people of good relationship between SSR and PB - doesn?t matter if not true).Tell people not to worry - Vishnu has descended on earth to save it from the AS.

• Valayden (have to find new insulting names for him).

• Dev Hurnam?s arrest (link with loss of confidence in police, blame Ramgoolam, add PoTA?s disaster, find a link with Valayden and cast Gopalsing as victim. Link with law and order situation).

• ?Go to hell? episode (need to be find funny phrases to maximise on incident).

• MSM?s dubious role (so MMM can be seen as only saviour).

• Vishnu L (has to be introduced as saviour, oppose him to Sithanen - demagogy all the way).

  ??? Alternative MMM prime minister (not to be mentioned. Focus on Vishnu)

You see? Wasn?t that fun? But what about Navin Ramgoolam?s checklist? Here goes:

• Blame MMM for everything.

• Be funny, show humane and caring side but be firm.

• Find funny phrases like "lev pake ale" or "go to hell".

• Spare the MSM.

There we go! Happy Labour Day. You can now safely go to the beach tomorrow. But bring transistor radio with you. Just in case you feel like being entertained further?