Two years into the pandemic, Covid19 was still causing unprecedented chaos across the world. Things were not looking any better inside Santa’s compound and his impressive toy factory had been operating at a fraction of its capacity. Most of the elves were bedridden with very high temperature and sore throats and had been placed in isolation. Luckily, Santa had built up a strategic reserve of toys for use in emergency situations and it was going to be used for the first time. 

To prevent the various constraints and lockdowns in many countries from spoiling his favourite pastime, Santa asked his mission impossible team of agents to devise a strategy to save Christmas. The team led by its head agent visited all the countries to enquire about the situation across the world. They eventually noticed that there were many problems to overcome in Paradise Island.  This is an exchange between Santa by the head agent (HA) in an imaginary island called Paradise Island.

“There is a royal decree that people should sing praises of the King before starting any celebration and then do this repeatedly whilst feasting.”

HA: Santa, the main problem is in Paradise Island. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is properly functioning there except those things that should not be functioning.

Santa:  What do you mean?

HA: Well, to start with, a lot of people have died from the virus. There is a lot of anger amongst the population for various reasons. In short, many amongst them are not in a mood to celebrate Christmas but are still trying to put on a show for their children’s happiness. Most of the anger is directed towards the self-appointed King and his vast team of courtiers and courtesans. Celebrations will be muted amongst most citizens.

Santa: Muted celebrations in Paradise Island? How can that be? This is the nation that traditionally has the longest festive season in the whole world. They typically start celebrating in mid-December and the celebrations last for at least a whole month.  They are so fond of celebrating that a lot of them spend the last penny that they have.  Many others spend the penny that they will never have in their whole lifetime, at least not lawfully.  And I have seen so many reports from their local broadcasting station where their king repeatedly says that all is well. Do you think it will help if I send a broadcast message to encourage them and give them hope of better days ahead?

HA:  I am afraid you can’t do that Santa. Nobody can freely broadcast messages there anymore.  To broadcast any message, one needs to obtain the permission of their regulator first and their regulator in turn needs the permission of the King. Even X-mas carols and X-mas songs are prohibited unless authorised by the King. And authorisation is given only to those carols and songs that contain praises of the King.

“Santa, you should know that the King has mutated several times and with each mutation, he has turned into a more dangerous variant of himself.”

Santa: What? How could that be? Christmas carols and songs in praise of a King? My children will go sick.

HA: Well things are actually much worse than that.  There is a royal decree that people should sing praises of the King before starting any celebration and then do this repeatedly whilst feasting. So, every time that someone sips a drink, he should, after each sip, say “Our King is our God”. 

Santa:  No, no, no… Are you really talking of Paradise Island?

HA: Yes, Santa. And you should also know that the King has mutated several times and with each mutation, he has turned into a more dangerous variant of himself.

Santa: What?

HA: Besides heavily supressing all criticism of him, he now controls everything in the country. He has also heavily indebted the country in an uncontrolled spending frenzy.  Public money is given to anyone the committees he set up want. Whenever anybody seeks explanations to try to understand what is happening, the King says that he does not need to justify anything to anyone. He simply tells everyone that he knows where he is taking the country.  And just to make sure nobody can challenge his decisions, he has turned the country’s police force, anti-corruption agency and all law enforcement agencies into his personal toys. And he plays with these institutions just like kids play with real toys. 

Santa:  I am totally shocked. But, to be honest, I should have known that would happen. He was five when he took a few gifts from my bag whilst I was placing his gift under his Christmas tree. And every year thereafter, he kept taking a few more from my bag. I did no stop him because I thought this habit of appropriating things that do not belong to him would go away in time.

HA: Well, it’s a lot worse ever since he proclaimed himself King. His appetite has grown exponentially. His sole ambition, by hook or by crook, is to be the richest king in the world.  If you go there this time, he could take your whole consignment of gifts, your sleigh, your reindeer and even your costume.

Santa: What would he do with my sleigh and costume?

HA:  He could then wear your costume and pretend that he is a divine version of Father Christmas. And, I must tell you that he likes to play with the truth. His motto is: Repeat a lie as many times as necessary until people start believing that it is the truth.  By using this tactic, his regime is literally fleecing the population. I think you should consider not going to Paradise Island this year.

Santa: No, no, I can’t let down the innocent children of Paradise Island just because of the King’s character and misdeeds. Nobody can keep me away from my children during Christmas.  I will definitely go to Paradise Island, come what may. And I want to start my journey right now. Please tell my elves to get the sleigh ready and to load the toys.

“This is the nation that traditionally has the longest festive season in the whole world.”

HA: All right, I will ask the elves to get everything ready.

A few hours later, whilst Father Christmas took his seat on his sleigh loaded with millions of gifts, the elves started singing: You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town.

And Father Christmas thus started at supersonic speed on his long journey that would see him reach Paradise Island on the night of 24^th December.