<B>By Deepa BHOOKHUN</B>

Remember poor Mrs Toorab? The one sentenced to death- and killed- by government because she dared wear a swimming costume at the beach?

But I have good news ? for her at any rate. She is about to get company at her lonesome burial ground! Next to her will lay a striking young girl and what I gather to be an equally fit bloke.

● <B>All dead</B>.

The young couple have been murdered by civil servants at the Road Development Authority (RDA). No, they didn?t die in a car crash but they have been eliminated in order to prevent any prospective road accidents. I hear they didn?t make a fuss when they were told they would have to be sacrificed in order to save our lives ? they went to their deaths without so much of a protest.

● <B>Bless. </B>

I lied. The young couple didn?t die to save us all from road accidents. But I thought if I turned the truth around slightly, I wouldn?t have to blush when people ask why Mauritius has banned the latest United Colours of Benetton advert.

I mean, what do I say? Do I tell them the truth? That because the ad is shocking ? which it admittedly is portraying as it does a woman straddling a man even though they both are fully clothed ? government has ordered that it be banned?

What do I tell them when they reach the conclusion that Mauritius is peopled with hopeless puritans who are so intolerant that they will ask that ads be banned every time they portray something that has anything even remotely to do with sex?

Because that?s what it is all about. The ad bothers people because it is too sexual. I mean clothes or not, the expression on the woman?s face is telling enough. By the way, the excuse used by the RDA (what does this have to do with them anyway?) to the effect that the ad ?portrays a negative image of women? is preposterous. That, it definitely does not.

In fact it shows the woman as a dominatrix ? the minister for women?s rights and all women organisations should have applauded the advert and demanded that the ad campaign be extended to all billboards across the island. I mean, female casualties from domestic violence have reached unparalleled levels. Wouldn?t that be a nice message to send out?

But no, what I am on about? They will tell you that a dominatrix is a woman who acts out the role of the dominating partner in a sadomasochistic relationship and this would be sending out the wrong message. Regardless of the fact that dominatrix also means a woman regarded as overbearing.

● <B>Whatever. </B>

In fact, I think our problem is that we are too obsessed with sex precisely because we are so sexually repressed. Sex still remains taboo, officially if not in actual fact.

Removing the offensive ad only serves to fuel this unhealthy state of mind.

Nation of sexually frustrated people that we are.