by Deepa BHOOKHUN

God Almighty must be very puzzled up there in his little heaven. If ever heaven is ?up?, that is. For all I know, it might be somewhere else but that?s another debate. I guess He has been puzzled for a while but His bewilderment must have climaxed when He looked down (we?re going on the assumption that heaven is ?up?) on Saturday, His attention drawn to little Mauritius.

Of course, I am being arrogantly presumptuous when I say His attention was drawn to our 1.2 million insignificant selves but hey, when I was born, I learned that being presumptuous was one of the privileges that came with the Mauritian nationality.

He probably smiled in amusement when He saw the ?Gay Pride? march in Rose Hill and I am guessing His calm amusement turned into hilarity when He saw the protest in Trianon.

Being God Himself, He did not get angry because God does not get angry. My God doesn?t, at any rate! But how He must have giggled when He heard them protesters to gays say that they have ?the moral duty to fight everything that goes against God?! How He must have laughed even harder when He heard some of those people say that gay sex was a curse and would bring doom to the country and the world!

But I think He must have stopped laughing when He heard them say that one of the results of this ?curse? is Aids. He must have started feeling somewhat dejected when He heard someone say that another proof of the ?curse? was the recent sea swells - God?s way of saying that He was unhappy with? gays!

Now this must have made my God immensely sad. He does get cheerless, you know, especially when He hears bigots, in their extreme unenlightenment, absolve themselves of all responsibilities and placing instead the blame for everything that goes wrong with the world, squarely on other people?s shoulders. He must then have turned His attention elsewhere, my saddened God, to more pressing matters.

My attention, however, was drawn to the irony of the ?Gay Pride? march. Pride in what, I wonder? At being gay? Why in heaven (up there) should one feel proud to be gay? One is straight or one is gay and that?s that. I personally found repulsive the thought that people had to march to exhibit something that is inherently private - their sexual habits, gay or otherwise. But, over and above my personal opinion, lies a more disturbing - and fundamental - issue; as it stands now, anal sex is illegal. Gay men practise anal sex and unless we are talking about purely romantic love - which I doubt - we have a very unusual situation - men flaunting the fact that they break the law. In the face of the police and at the expense of the rule of law.

So let?s legalise sodomy and do away with the flaunting. At the risk, of course, of being cursed. But hey, we?ll organise a ?Maha Yaj? and try and counteract the ?curse?!