by Deepa BHOOKHUN

Paul Bérenger is a very methodical man.

He likes to think ahead. So much so that he has already decided that, just in case the MMM gets elected to power (it could be in a couple of months, it could be next year or the year after - one never knows with Bérenger), he will appoint Vishnu Lutchmeenaraidoo as minister of Finance and Vijay Makhan as minister for Foreign affairs. Bérenger?s long-sightedness is so extraordinary that he has even decided who will head the Mauritian embassy in France under an MMM government.

Isn?t that wonderful?

I suppose he already knows who will head the other ministries and the other embassies around the world; he has simply decided not to publicize the names.

I don?t think I?m wrong either to suspect that heads of parastatal bodies have already been picked after the most careful consideration. He is that meticulous, our dear Paul Bérenger.

He has one epic hurdle to overcome, though; he doesn?t have a prime minister. Now, that?s a bit of a problem, isn?t it? How in heaven is one to form a government if one doesn?t have a prime minister? But I?m getting ahead of myself! Let me rephrase; how in hell is one to go to elections ? which could happen anytime, if one is to believe Mr Bérenger ? if one doesn?t have a candidate to propose as prime minister?

Hum!? tricky, huh?

Now maybe Mr Bérenger already has a candidate in mind and that?s the best guarded secret of all times and that he will decide to spring it on us on May Day next year, what do I know? Oh! Or maybe the candidate is Paul Bérenger himself!

Maybe that?s the open secret!

Now if I follow this logic, I end up being impossibly puzzled. Why then, if this is the case, does Mr Bérenger go to great lengths to deny it?

And, if he denies it, why did his loyal Rajesh Bhagwan say at the MMM May Day rally that Bérenger would be the next prime minister?

After Bérenger publicly said he wasn?t even considering it?

Goodness, this is like a labyrinth!

And it?s not just I who?s bamboozled! The little guy from the little sunny party has also caught on; upon hearing that there was a vacancy for the post of prime minister, he has readily reviewed his opinion of Bérenger?s MMM and has publicly declared the revival of his phoney flame for yesterday?s lover boy.

So he can also grow up and be prime minister!

Now, Paul Bérenger runs the risk of being submerged with applications now that people know there is a vacancy in his party.

So he?d better decide at once if he?s going to be brave enough to take the jump or if he is going to resort to screens yet again. Because if it?s screens he needs, Paul Raymond Bérenger will certainly not be short of them.

Why? He simply needs to advertise.