?Je n?ai pas eu la chance d?être aimée?

V

Nous ne devrions pas chercher l?amour impossible. L?amour va se présenter de lui-même dès que nous ne sommes plus dépendants des autres. Parfois on a tendance à croire que tout ce qu?on voit à la télévision ou au cinéma est ce qui se produit réellement dans la vie. Cela nous fait penser que l?amour sera éternel. Tout cela nous empêche de nous épanouir et d?être plus créatif et innovateur dans notre vie.

Si nous ne nous sentons pas dignes d?être aimés, il est fort probable que nous soyons attirés vers des personnes qui sont comme nous. Si par contre, nous avons une attitude positive, c?est presque sûr que nous attirerons des personnes positives. A 18 ans, vous êtes encore très jeune. Vous avez tout votre temps pour trouver le partenaire idéal.

Mais en premier lieu, vous devriez croire en vous-même. Il est plus facile d?apprendre l?estime en soi quand on est seule. Cessez de courir après l?amour, cet amour viendra éventuellement après. Cela ne veut pas dire que tout le monde va se mettre à vous aimer parce que vous vous aimez vous-même en premier. Peut-être vous aurez moins de mal à accepter qu?il y ait des gens qui ne vous aiment pas, tout comme ces hommes que vous avez connus. Ne perdez pas votre temps avec eux. Il y a d?autres personnes intéressantes que vous pouvez rencontrer.

On se demande comment certains trouvent facilement leur bonheur en amour tandis que d?autres sont toujours malchanceux.

On trouve le vrai amour, en acceptant notre partenaire comme il/elle est. Il est primordial de faire des efforts pour bâtir et préserver cette magie de notre relation au lieu de penser sans cesse aux facteurs qui pourraient la compromettre.

Il faut soutenir l?autre dans ses choix, l?encourager à satisfaire ses plus profonds désirs et de croire en ses rêves. Accepter de poser ces questions au lieu de tirer des conclusions hâtives, de trouver des compromis au lieu de se quereller, d?affronter les malentendus et les problèmes et d?être toujours disposée à résoudre les conflits. L?amour peut vous apporter beaucoup. L?épanouissement, la joie entre autres? Pourtant, il ne fera jamais de vous une personne complète, vous seule pouvez y parvenir.

?I worry too much?

It is a constant item of discussion among all my friends because as you can imagine we are all hoping to do our very best in our studies as it is directly connected to our future life especially as to getting a good job. I very often hear a lot about anxiety and stress. Could you please tell me more about the subject? What is it, what causes it, what are the effects and how best to manage it?

What is anxiety? Anxiety is something that we all experience from time to time. Most of us can relate to feeling tense, uncertain or perhaps even fearful at the thought of sitting an examination, going for a medical visit or to hospital, attending an interview or even starting a new job.

We all tend to worry about how we are going to perform, say at an interview, we fear that we may appear foolish and as a result, it affects a number of our bodily functions. It can affect our sleep, appetite, or perhaps our ability to concentrate.

Naturally if all goes well, the anxiety goes away. Feeling nervous before an exam or attending an interview can make one feel alert and enhance one?s performance. However, if the feelings of anxiety overwhelm the person, his/her ability to concentrate and to do well may suffer. In actual fact, anxiety and fear are important for survival because they are mechanisms to protect us against stress or danger. Stress is often seen as a complaint associated with the ?fight? or ?flight? hormone adrenaline. This hormone prepares the individual to confront (fight) the danger or evades (flight) the attack. In these days it is not always possible to deal with stress in this way, so we end up bottling our true feelings.

Consequently, the longer, this feeling of being stressed lasts, the more harmful it can be. Stress can cause a number of health problems. Taking that last statement into consideration, we must think that stress is always very bad for us. Stress will become a problem when we cannot cope and as a result it develops into distress especially if the problem lingers on.

There are four major feelings of distress, they are anger, anxiety, depression and guilt. All other negative feelings that are experienced are actually synonymous of these four feelings. The secret ingredient of maintaining a sense of well being is to find the right level of stimulation and relaxation to make our life fulfilling.

The key to improve our well being is the realization that we need not become helpless victims of stress and all its associated problems. What can we do to manage and reduce stress and anxiety? You can do deep breathing exercises which can be an excellent stress reducing technique in its own right. You can find books in your local library to help you to understand and practice these techniques. A lot of information is also available on the internet. Deep relaxation techniques can also help.

Are you a clutter bug ?

Try these questions to check if you are a clutter bug (This short quiz is applicable to both men and women alike)

1. How would you describe the state of your wardrobe?

a) It is full of clothes that you do not wear - 0

b) It is full with clothes according to the current season of the year ? 10

c) It is full of only your favourite clothes ? 5

2. How often do you have a clear out?

a) Never, I absolutely hate throwing clothes out - 0

b) I do so every year ? 10

c) I do sometimes but I regret it afterwards ? 5

3. How do you feel about giving away your clothes?

a) I feel guilty if I have spent a lot to buy them ? 0

b) It is not a problem, I usually give them to people who are in need ? 10

c) I feel better once I have done it ? 5

4. Do you have clothes which are now too small for you?

a) Yes, but I am always trying to lose weight ? 0

b) No, I do not have any ? 10

c) I still have a few but it is unlikely that I will ever wear them again ? 5

5. Do you find it easy to decide what to wear each day?

a) Yes, I choose the clothes evening before ? 10

b) No, I cannot always decide what to wear ? 0

c) I find it easy, it depends on where I am going ? 5

Score?

40 ? 60: You are the sort of person who always has the ideal outfit for every occasion.

20 ? 39: Like most people, you wish you could get rid of some of your clothes.

0 ? 19: Your wardrobe must be overflowing with a variety of clothes. You must absolutely hate giving away anything.

Consultations gratuites

Claude Canabady donne des consultations gratuites pour le public en général le 1er et 3e lundi de chaque mois au Centre Alex Vellin, à Beau-Bassin de 10 à 15 h. Il n?est pas nécessaire de prendre rendez-vous. La prochaine session aura lieu le lundi 2 avril. Pour des informations additionnelles téléphonez au 492-2177

RETROUVEZ CLAUDE CANABADY, LES VENDREDIS SUR RADIO ONE, ENTRE 14 et 15H.