Sex liberation provides pleasure without commitment. Bertrand Russell was a champion of more liberal sex. He said, “Adults have the right to cohabit as long as they don’t have children.” Some live-in relationships do end up in marriage, especially if the woman becomes pregnant or the couple decides to start a family. This happens where there is stability and a deep commitment to each other. But the majority is only looking for a short-term “high.” Having made the sacred common place, they move on to new partners.

The advantage of live-in relationships is that they are not oppressive. In fact, they are considered as a liberating experience. It gives individuals their own space for growth, and great scope for creativity. Partners usually have the same level of intelligence, and consider themselves equal. They are not the “clinging-vine” types who need constant attention and reassurance.

Many believe that sexual experience before marriage will help select the right mate when the time comes to finally settle down. But how many such short-range live-in relationships must one experience, before the right choice is made? Voices defending morality are lost in the war-like cries of a permissive society. Even religious institutions, which once advocated chastity, are silent, for fear of alienating young people. The media glamorizes such lifestyles.

Living-in brings with it poor gains, but a host of psychological problems like disillusionment, insecurity, guilt, depression, loss of self-esteem and self-confidence. Eventually, it is the woman who suffers, both physiologically and psychologically. She will never be the same again, even if she opts for marriage later, and her guilty conscience might stand in the way of a happy, fulfilling union.

Timeless standards cannot be ignored. Glen Camplell may tell us otherwise.

“It’s knowing that your door is always open, and your path is free to walk…

It’s knowing I’m not shackled by forgotten words and bonds, and the ink stains that have dried up on some line… that keeps you gentle on my mind.”

One ancient prophet said, “Woe unto them who call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.”

What is legal is not always moral; what is possible is not always prudent. The “I-Me-My” syndrome has become contagious in today’s society. The world would be a better place if life were lived in ways that enhance our dignity and self-worth.

Zafirah FOONDON</B>