In Mauritius, kissing is an art form, especially at this time of year. There are all the parties and extra people that we must make welcome. The routine is a comforting ritual that helps everyone to meet and say hello. I must report that I have found some very good news for all of us.

It isn?t often that we are told that something we like doing is actually good for us. After extensive and presumably pleasurable research, a group of American academics have reported that ?kissing is good for you?. It seems the ?frequent kissers? have longer healthier lives, take less time away from work and are generally happier individuals. This may not be very surprising news, but on the principle of ?working on the positive?, I am sure we could make more use of this knowledge. How can we take full advantage of these benefits and make most use of this knowledge?

Does this mean that all kissing is good for us, or only certain kinds of kissing? Did their research differentiate between the gentle peck on the cheek and the full ?tongue-down-the-back-of-the-throat three course meal?? We kiss hello, kiss goodnight, kiss for fun and kiss goodbye, but which of these kisses have the most value? If we were to go on a kissing diet, which kisses could be given up without any harmful effects?

If doctors are going to prescribe more kissing for patients who need a boost, where and when should their patients look for the extra kisses? Whose kisses are most medicinal? Who should we be kissing to gain the most benefit? Should kisses be applied directly to the affected part or will anywhere on the body be alright?

When I am faced with such crucial questions, I have to ask Google. They gave me ?Kissing.com?, with all the answers. Here you can buy instructional DVDs on a whole range of kissing issues. I wanted to know why kissing with tongues is called ?French Kissing? ? what do they call it in France? It cannot be just called ?kissing? because in France, so many people kiss with such a strict formality and the lips only touch the cheek. Perhaps it comes from the firm British belief that anything sexually suggestive must have its origins in France.

The first one

The morality police will be pleased to know that the most frequently asked questions on the ?kissing.com? site have to do with ?the first kiss?. This must mean that young people have already learnt how to negotiate the Internet before they even start experimenting with kissing each other. Who said the Internet replaces real experience? I didn?t buy any of the instructional materials on the basis that I would just struggle along as I have been doing so far. However, the range of breath sweeteners and mouth rinses did look tempting.

There is probably a danger that the simple kiss could be overlooked when we are considering health benefits. There are obviously some kissing activities that should not be included in the prescription. The new celebrity ?air kisses? being developed by those who do not want their make-up spoilt are going to miss out. It may be thought more hygienic to ?muah? ? ?muah? , eight inches away from both sides of the head but it lacks any feeling of well-being. Kissing ourselves must have very limited benefits indeed. Kissing the mirror after a particularly successful session of grooming cannot really transfer the right vibrations.

After all these years it is comforting to know that my mother was right. If I hurt myself, she would always kiss it better and it always worked. It is still an effective diversion to help a child stop crying and help him think of something else ? however ? all those clever American academics cannot be completely wrong.

Jules JERRET